Why Now?

As I said in my overview my weight has not really caused me any issues or held me back in the past but things have changed and  in the last 2 years my body has started giving me different signals.

I feel like I am at a crossroads with two options "business as usual" and "make a significant change".

If I head down the "business as usual" path there is a future that I never thought would be part of my destiny. A future that includes type 2 diabetes, joint pain, feet problems, back problems, continued fertility issues and more weight gain.

Already I am seeing the signs that these things are on the cards.  I have noticed that I am hauling myself up from the sofa and when I get up and my knees often crack.  My back is often sore and my podiatrist (who I see for non weight related issues) has said my feet problems will be significantly improved with weight loss and/or significantly worse with weight gain.
Exercise of any description is also becoming a chore, a real chore and this is making me avoid it, which lets face it is the opposite of what any overweight person needs.

I am someone who has always been active and in the past I have done kickboxing and been someone who goes to the gym on a regular basis. These days I like to ride my bike, I ski every winter, I love swimming and this is the first summer I have not been at the local pool swimming laps 4 mornings a week.  We also have a dog that needs a lot of exercise and even that has become a chore.  It is also over a year since I went to yoga and I feel tight and wound up all over.

For the first time ever I can see how it is possible to reach a certain weight (for me it was 105kg) and then to just have your weight and health start to spiral out of control.  For me it just felt like I had reached a point where my weight was close to spiraling out of control.

In the past I have lost weight though diet and exercise but it has never stayed off.  And after more than 20 years of this battle I have decided to go down the path of surgery.
It was not a decision I came to easily and anyone who knows me will tell you I am some one who is very detail orientated and I research all the big decisions I make.
I don't think it is the easy way out or a stand alone solution.  I am looking at it as a tool to help me loose enough weight so that exercise is much more enjoyable.

And the big kicker here is my fertility.  Hubby and I have been struggling to fall pregnant for the past 2 years and it is due to my PCOS and that is directly impacted by my weight.  So it is now or never.  If I put this off any longer I may be too old to have a baby at all.

So that is where things stand.  5 weeks until surgery and my brain is in overload.  There are so many things I have to get out in this forum, hopefully it will help me clear my head space.
My mind is also still telling me that my weight has not impacted to greatly on how I have lived my life. (although this is a self belief that I am going to challenge as this journey progresses)

Does any of this sound familiar?

I really appreciate any comments you take the time to leave.  Feel free to ask questions.

If you are on this journey too or any other type of weight loss journey feel free to say hello and share your story.